Thursday, 25 December 2014

Rewind 2014.

One fine evening, I tell Ma that I am going for a jog and I go sit on the staircase that leads to the water tank in my apartment’s terrace. I was listening to “Sound of Silence” on repeat and watching the sun drown into the urban jungle. It is my favorite time of the day. The sky is perfectly divided with the darkness of the fast approaching dusk and the last rays of light from the setting sun. It reminds me that we go through hardships only to cherish good times. We cry on some days only to laugh it all out on other days. The evening sky teaches me the contrasts of life like nothing else. Lost in deep thoughts, I think about all the significant events of the past year. I like to believe that everything in life is an opportunity cost. The events in our life, significant or otherwise are at the cost of the next best alternative forgone. All the memories that I've made in 2014 was at the cost of being somewhere else and making a whole different set of memories. 2014 has been a splendid year for me but of course it does carry its fair amount of shortcomings.  This was the year when I found love and experienced heartbreak. A year where I was lost occasionally and rediscovered myself.  2014 saw me smile at my best and cry at my worst. This was the year when I shined like a star but blinded by my own light I collapsed. It was indeed a year of ironies, contrasts and a lot of growing up.
I could see myself dancing like a jelly fish in the bus on a college trip. I could see myself making a bold statement at a debate competition which is followed by applause. I could see myself go accept an award on stage. I could see myself weep miserably without any reason. I could see myself fall in love or something close to that. I could see myself hug a friend and be comfortable in that warmth. I could see myself in Sweden being happy like never before. As I was going through the various chapters of 2014 in my head, darkness had already taken over the sky. Recalling all those memories made me smile and laugh like a fool. It is funny how just a few moments and certain people leave behind their scars on you.
 Before 2014 I was a different person, in a different phase of my life but now these 365 days seem to have changed me around though I cannot tell if it was for the better or for the worse. There are times when gratitude is not enough to thank the people who have influenced me, stood by me and loved me all the same. Without them I wouldn't be half the person I am today. They make me smile on my worst days and share my joys on my best days.
365 days. 8766 hours. 31,536,000 seconds. A year has passed by and have you made every moment count? Have you seized the day? Have you made memories worth sharing? Have you fulfilled all your resolutions? Well to be honest I haven’t. I have wasted days, spent a few in absolute misery and the rest in overwhelming distractions. Seizing the day or not, I was happy doing it as it was a conscious decision most of the times.
So here’s to all the people who love me all the same, the music and books that served as my escape. To having the best time of my life. To learning to love and to forgive. To bidding goodbye to a remarkable year and welcoming another one. 
I don’t know what 2015 has in store for me; I certainly would not have expectations about it. Right now I am just a girl watching 365 days of my life flash by me in a matter of seconds, hoping that it was all for the best. Hoping that it was a story worth telling.


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